Many health care professionals may have graduated from their programs with flying colors and have shown an ability to quickly understand technical concepts and are able to perform impressive clinical work. However, patients are still sometimes known to complain about a missing, somewhat enigmatic trait.
Likeability.
Can likeability, or chairside manner, be taught? Is it crucial for a clinician to be personable to be effective?
The short answer to both questions is yes!
The British Journal of Health Psychology states, “Providers should be cognizant that poor communication might push patients to prefer the advice of more likable physicians.”1 Building trust with your patient, meaning that they listen to and follow your professional guidance, often stems from the first important step of them simply liking you.
So how does one become likable as a health care professional, or specifically, as a dental hygienist?
Tips to Becoming Likable
The traits that make a hygienist likable are the same things that make a person likable in any relationship, whether a friendship, casual acquaintance or otherwise. If you are a hygienist who can easily read the emotions of others around you, these tips may not feel important to learn. On the other hand, for those who struggle to understand how they might be perceived or how to communicate well, read on to learn some helpful tips!
1) Ask questions
We’ve all heard the age-old saying that people “love the sound of their own voice.” This is a common phrase for a reason. According to research, when humans talk about themselves, it engages the same neural regions in our brains associated with reward, pleasurable feelings, and motivation stimuli.2
The best way to get people to talk about themselves is to ask them questions. I’m not talking about the cliche question, “How is your day going?” with a vacant expression and a bored voice. I’m talking about real questions that show you care. Examples are inquiring about a vacation you remember they went on, asking about how their job is going, or even complimenting something about their style or appearance and inquiring about it further. Everyone loves a compliment!
2) Be happy and confident
The reality is that moods are contagious. If you show happiness and confidence to your patients, chances are it will be contagious and “catch.” People with the most social connections (friends, spouses, neighbors, relatives) are typically the happiest. What’s more, if someone’s social contact is happy, it increases the likelihood that they will be happy by 15 percent.3
Just like asking questions shouldn’t feel forced or fabricated, neither should acting happy or being confident. Even if you are not feeling particularly good sometimes, there are ways you can control your voice and body language to help give off a good vibe.
If you’re not feeling happy or confident, your patient will pick up on it, and their mood will likely start to make you feel even worse. So, by trying to show happiness and confidence, you can inadvertently increase those actual feelings in yourself. Everyone wins!
Below are some straightforward ways to show happiness and confidence.
Open posture: If your arms are folded or your body is slumped over with poor posture, this gives off the vibe of disinterest or insecurity. Instead, try to keep your arms uncrossed, hands unclasped, chin up, and shoulders pulled back. This kind of “open posture” suggests confidence and has been known to even make you feel more confident as a result.
Smile: No need to keep a huge grin plastered on your face. Instead, crinkle your eyes, make it a real smile, and tell them it’s good to see or meet them if it’s the first time.
Eye contact: The importance of eye contact cannot be stressed enough. When greeting your patient before you begin talking, eye contact should be made right away. Use the 50/70 rule: maintain eye contact for 50% of the time while speaking and 70% while listening.4
Once eye contact has been established, try to hold it for about four to five seconds. Then, you can slowly glance somewhere else (usually to the side) before returning to eye contact. Try not to dart your eyes or look down, as this may show shyness or lack of confidence. Slow down your blinking and your eye movements. This will show ease and relaxation. As a listener, make sure to incorporate some nodding when appropriate.4
Vary talking speed with no jargon: Carmine Gallo wrote in the Harvard Business Review, “Confident speakers vary the pace of their verbal delivery. They slow down and speed up to accentuate their most important points.”5
In a conversation with your patient, this would mean that when explaining details of their treatment plan or oral health condition, slow down when explaining the most important parts and choose your words carefully. Use gestures to help get your point across.
Try not to ramble off dental jargon a patient may not understand. Instead, use more well-known terms that make sense to them according to their oral health literacy. Remember how little you understood about oral health before you were a hygiene student? Talk to them without assuming they know your level of dental terminology.
3) Make them feel special
Some may have experienced a professional environment where they have felt like part of an assembly line. I can speak from personal experience that this is not an enjoyable feeling. It’s crucial to make each patient feel like they matter as an individual and are special because they are!
Below are some straightforward ways to make someone feel special.
Active listening: Try not to think about what you will be saying next as they’re talking. Once they have finished speaking, pause to ensure you’ve fully understood what they’re saying before responding.
Don’t make the conversation about you: There is nothing more frustrating than when you are talking to someone, and they continually respond to things you say with, “Oh, I had a similar situation,” or anything including my, I, or me. There is rarely a situation where you need to respond to someone’s story with a story of your own. Not to say that it’s never appropriate to respond with your own story, but that should be the rare occasion.
Most of the time, you should focus on asking them follow-up questions about what they’ve told you or saying something that shows you are empathizing or understanding them. If you do this enough, whether with your patients or in your personal relationships, you will begin to see people opening up to you much more, and they will begin to ask you about yourself in return.
Think of it this way: Conversations are like bank accounts. Your withdrawals should never be more than your deposits.
Take notes: As mentioned earlier, try to keep track of some of their life details to inquire about them and build a relationship. As much as possible, write down a few things that would be helpful to remember for their next appointment or about them in general.
For example, if you see more people in their family, write down who they’re related to. Make a note of what they do for a living. Jot down what they are doing for vacation. Next time they come in, you can ask about how their family is doing, how their vacation was, and how their job is going. Doing these simple things helps develop trust and a connection with your patients that continues to grow.
In Closing
Anyone can learn a likable chairside manner if they have the right tools. Dental hygienists spend a lot of time with patients during the workday, making this an opportunity to develop and strengthen communication skills that can benefit you for a lifetime in all your relationships. Consider making it a goal to be as good at communicating as you are with your technical skills. Like anything else, it takes time, but practice makes perfect!
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References
- Niszczota, P., Petrova, D. Treatment Choice in the Presence of Conflicting Information: The Role of Physician Likeability in the Choice of Non-Proven Therapies Against Conventional Treatment. British Journal of Health Psychology. 2022; 27(2): 501-515. https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjhp.12559
- Tamir, D.I., Mitchell, J.P. Disclosing Information About the Self is Intrinsically Rewarding. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2012; 109(21): 8038-8043. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3361411/
- Fowler, J.H., Christakis, N.A. Dynamic Spread of Happiness in a Large Social Network: Longitudinal Analysis Over 20 Years in the Framingham Heart Study. BMJ. 2008; 337: a2338. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2600606/
- Schulz, J. (2012, December 31). Eye Contact: Don’t Make These Mistakes. Michigan State University. https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes
- Gallo, C. (2019, October 23). How to Look and Sound Confident During a Presentation. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2019/10/how-to-look-and-sound-confident-during-a-presentation
